Madness. I've had roughly 11,000 (eleven thousand) 1-on-1 calls with clients since 2015, and what I can tell you with certainty is that you are going to have frustrating items coming your way, and if you don’t have a delicate defense system in place, these hits damage you and you will feel intense unpleasnt emotions.

The attack always starts as an inner conversation triggered by an external event.

Breakups, rejection, financial hits, and so on.

"Reframing" is your first underrated LINE OF DEFENSE. Without utilizing it, every attack will hit hard. By utilizing it, you can defuse almost any emotional hit instantly.

Step One: Catch it.

Here are a few examples of these inner conversations:

The more insecure you are, the louder these thoughts become. The lower you see yourself as a person, the stronger the resistance.

 So agressively catch the thought. Most guys realize what happened weeks or months after when pain becomes excrutiating.

Step Two: Reframe It. Bascially ask yourself 2 questions:

“How would James Bond think about this?”
 “How would I think about this if I had no limitations? “How would my super confident, limitless version think about this?”

Here are real examples from clients:

Example 1
 Guy 1: “Ben, I’m so fucked and lonely. I come home and there’s no one there.”
 Guy 2: “Ben, I’m blessed. I come home to freedom. No one annoying me. I can plan my life and go meet someone way better. I can do whatever I want.” (Guy number 1 doesn’t even see this far.)

Example 2
 Guy 1: “She left me because I’m not enough.”
 Guy 2: “We weren’t good for each other. If it was right, it wouldn’t have ended. Now I get to meet someone who actually appreciates me.”

Example 3
 Guy 1: “If she moves on, my life is over.”
 Guy 2: “If she moves on, it opens space for someone better. That’s exciting.”

Same situation, different frame, completely different emotions, just because of the way he looks at things.

Your Homework

Write down all your energy-draining thoughts and events you had in the last 30 days.

 Everything that annoys you, weakens you, or keeps repeating in your mind.

Then go through them one by one and ask:

Then write the reframes next to each thought.

This is one of the things that separates the confident from the insecure. The more you do it, the more you realize you are in control.

 Remember, your mind WILL resist. It's like a tug of war at first.

Also, remember. The more analytical you get, the more you suffer.