Today is Thursday, Valentine’s Day in 2019.

I came back home with my gf and she just went to bed. 

We had a really nice time and I decided to write this because I feel a lot of good emotions right now.

Today I talked to a guy on Zoom and he told me he is not sure if he should sign up for the program or not. I told him something that I want to share with you. 

This might help you make the decision easier either way.

Back in 2005, when I was going through my divorce, there was a coach named Adam.

He offered me help.

He said: You made her feel unsafe emotionally, you made her feel unseen, you lost your way, got emotional, and stopped leading her. If you want to get her back, you have to change. You can still get her back... You have history together.

The truth is, I ended up losing her.

I refused to get his help for one reason(for the most part).

It looked too far gone. I didn’t believe it was salvageable and I didn’t want to lose money and time. 

At least that’s what I thought I was trying to do.

A few years later, when I got training from Tony Robbins, I realized how I messed up.

On the surface it looked like I just didn’t see it working out, so I wanted to cut my losses... time and money in training, to be exact.

But the issue ran deeper.

There were a few things I didn’t understand at the time.

First: I was already at a loss. I didn't want to "take risk". What I didn't know was that the biggest risk that was guaranteed loss was the one I was already taking...but I couldn’t see it. 

I couldn’t see who I had become and I didn’t realize what a big deal it was, what this separation had made me into. I just couldn’t see it. I still wonder how I missed that!

All my focus was on how bad the situation was, how much money I would lose, and how she would reject me again. She had already told me no.

I was so insecure and hopeless that I had forgotten how I picked her up in the first place.

There was a guy who was in Canada’s national track and field 100-meter team who was also into her. There was another guy, a professional surfer who was training with Kelly Slater. Yet out of every other option she had, I was the guy. I forgot that I managed to make a bikini surfboard model fall in love with me and marry me. Out of all the athletes, good-looking, and rich guys, I ended up with her.

That relationship had done things to me without me realizing... I saw myself so small I didn’t even try. I didn’t realize I saw myself so small and worthless.

Yes, she may have been done and given up on me, there was a big chance, but the problem was, I had given up on me. I had become too weak to believe in myself and what was possible.

Deep down I didn’t see myself on her level, or on the level of the next guy she would meet.

I had accepted to pass her on to the next guy in line. The love of my life.

I wasn’t just letting her go. I was submitting that I lost her and that I would never be good enough for her (instead of saying, (I’m gonna figure this out and win her like I once made her my girlfriend).

I had accepted that I wasn’t capable of fixing my anxious attachment. If you don’t know what that is, it’s the nice way of saying: emotional chaos, insecure, sensitive, weak, and low self-confidence. It’s really like a disability.

And worst of all, I was also setting myself up for another breakup down the line... Instead of taking that shot to get up and stand on my feet again.

And all of that because the breakup had pushed me so deep into my insecurity.

That attitude and small thinking forced me to make another bad decision and choose some money over critical growth and another shot with her.

Now I know why she left me. 

Why would she be with someone so weak, who didn’t even see in himself deserving her?

But the truth is, I was not that weak man. After my years in rehab center and development, working with Mike and a few other bad ass guys, I got myself back.

Go look in the mirror. 

You are more than this version of yourself. 

Iff you stay where you are, in the next few months, when you’re caught in your thoughts about her, overthinking and dealing with all those “what ifs” and regrets, with the turbulence of future relationship crashes, the last thing you’ll care about will be money. You are already at a loss my friend. Something that is inevitable. I wish someone told me that.

If you are deep in your insecure, if you’ve lost your confidence, if you’ve lost a vision of success, if you are in despair, all it means is that you need help to break these negative patterns and rise. 

Remember the first time you saw her? 

How you picked her up? 

Remember how she was into you. 

Remember how good your sex was? 

How much she once loved you? 

That’s the badass you really are deep inside, not this hopeless guy living in despair who doesn’t see himself capable.

Not the guy who is focused only on mistakes and failure. 

Remember when you had sex with her for the first time? You’re still that guy.

It would be a pleasure for me to pass on what I’ve learned to you so you never feel this agony again and never lose yourself. But if you decide not to take advantage of this opportunity, it won’t change my life. It will change yours, and down the track, you will wonder *what if* and end up paying more.

I hope you make the call that’s right for you. No one will stand up for you and no one can if you don't. 

I am here to help.

Ben