The Complainer’s Trap
When you start dating and connect with women, you become emotionally vulnerable. This means there is always a chance things will not go your way.
You are vulnerable at every step of the process. From the first point of contact, getting matched online, cold approaching, her texting you back, meeting in person, all the way to sex, a relationship, and even marriage.
When things do not go the way you want, and you are not experienced or aware, negativity starts to build. This is what we call baggage too. Failure begins to affect you. You start developing resentment and bitterness, and you begin complaining about women, dating, and the whole setup. If you had an ex, you start comparing new women to her and begin living in a fantasy about the past.
Common examples:
Women only want certain types of men.
It sucks.
It’s hard.
My ex was different.
I should have done this differently.
I hate it.
There are no matches for me.
Dating apps are rigged.
All women are the same.
Good women don’t exist anymore.
Women have it easy.
No one gives guys like me a chance.
Here is what you must have in mind.
You are playing a game where your results depend on another person too. Most people you interact with are highly disqualified, underdeveloped, entitled, and unaware of how they communicate or how they treat you. The woman who seems to reject you or ignore you is heavily influenced by social media, false expectations, and her own struggles.
Remove expectations from everyone. Most people are doing the best they can.
Get into the habit of not complaining about the dating scene, women, or your results. Stop saying things like: it’s hard, it sucks, I should have, I could have, I don’t get any matches, apps suck.
Use your energy to strategize and grow. Growth means realizing women are not what you were told they are. Women are not the central pillar of your life. They ar enot that important. The most important part of your life, the thing that controls everything, is how well you understand and manage your emotions, thoughts, and behavior.
Complainers do not understand this and try to fight the system instead of improving themselves.
End results? Isolation!
We all start without knowing this. I cover this in ADMC, the stages of development in dating. Eventually you reach a point where you see the mechanics. You understand what the obsession about your ex was. You realize how little most of this actually means.
The only thing that truly matters is that you are peaceful and joyful and that you share that with others.
The enemy is within. Not women. The enemy is the negative forces inside of you. The fear, the anger, the frustration.
You can beat any system if you have emotional awareness and a strategy.