Prep You For The Field

This approach is one of the best and most proven methods to re-initiate contact with your ex.

1 Trial Message every 3 to 4 weeks to gauge where she’s at emotionally and if she’s open to meeting up. There are two types of Trial Messages:

Trial Message without CTA "Hey [Name], it's been a while. Hope you're doing well."

Trial Message with CTA "Hey [Name], it's been a while. How have you been?"

If she replies with a question (for example, asking how you are), it's a sign she's open to further conversation. Your next message could be, "I'm good, thanks. Been really busy with work. I was thinking about inviting you for a quick coffee, just to catch up and clear the air. Who knows, maybe we could be friends again. No pressure if you're not up for it." If there’s no reply or no question, repeat the process in 3–5 weeks.

Example 1 - If she stays in touch and just wants to be friends.

Hey... Hope you're good and finding some peace. I get that things might not ever be like before. It might not be a bad idea to meet quickly for some coffee or dinner, just as friends? It might help both of us figure things out. I'd like for us to patch things up, but I know it takes two to decide that. It's probably just to clear the air.

Take care,
Ben

Example 2 - If you messed up and she said, it's over. Send this after 2 weeks just to test the waters.

Hey Jen, hope you're doing well! I've been doing some soul-searching and thinking about our chats lately. I realized I made some mistakes along the way. I just wanted to be honest and admit that I could have done better. Take care and be awesome!

Example 3 - If you cheated and it's been weeks that you have been pursuing and she keeps saying no and you decide to move on.

Hey,

I hope you're doing well. I've been thinking a lot about this, and I want to share something with you. We both know I messed up and ruined what we had. If I could change what happened, I would. I also lost control and sent you messages I shouldn't have. I'm really sorry about all of that.

I'm at a point where I can't live in guilt and sadness anymore. I love you and want to be with you if you can let go of what happened. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help you heal. But if you can't forgive me, I can't keep living like this. I need to move on. It's tormenting me (and you).

I hope you'll give me another chance, but if you can't let go, I understand and will stop pursuing. This is my last ask, and I won't bother you anymore. Would you give me another chance to make things right between us and make up for what happened?

If not, I understand and accept it. We go separate ways. I'm at a point where I don't want to bother you or hurt myself with this guilt anymore. Whatever decision you make, I accept it and wish you the best.

Example 4 - Ex wants to just stay friends, but you need to rock the boat

I've been reflecting a lot and I deeply miss our time together. I'm longing to create more memories with you and be there for each other every day. My heart is fully yours, and I cherish every moment with you.

I feel like we've drifted apart, and it hurts to feel like just an option rather than a priority in your life. I realize now that asking for a divorce was a mistake, driven by my struggles with PTSD and emotional maturity at the time. I deeply regret it and believe we are meant to be together.

I've been working on myself, and I'm hopeful for a new beginning with you. My feelings for you are deep and timeless, and I'm committed to rebuilding our relationship with mutual effort, acceptance, and love. I hope you feel the same way and are open to exploring this path together.

But if you're not feeling the same way about us, I think it’s best for me to step back. I'm looking for more than just friendship, and it would be too hard for me to keep things casual. So, if that's the case, as much as I. love to, I won't be in touch anymore.

Here are more examples