As I’m writing to you, I’m going through one of the toughest experiences of my life. One of them is the most recent breakup.

I’ve learned something I want to pass on to you as well: when things are messed up, that phase can be much shorter and far less painful if you think about it the right way.

I’m doing that now, and my pain is about 10% of what it would be if I didnt know this, before I understood this. These things help:

#1 There is a very good chance she won’t be happy after you no matter how attractive she is. When women leave a relationship, they’re hurt. Guys don’t understand this. She struggles. Most guys think she left, so she’s happy and already dating. Women often need months, if not longer, to recover. Don’t assume she’s happy. She’s not.

#2 She has a soft spot for you. History has proven that. She likes you, and attraction isn’t a choice and that's not gonna change.

#3 You, like me, have a choice. A monk once told me:
“Ben, you can be a coward and focus on the bad things and make yourself miserable and take energy, or you can focus on things that energize you.”

Most people focus on what’s missing. That’s because after a breakup, your system does everything it can to feel better, so it focuses on her and the loss, trying to figure out how to get her back. That actually increases the pain.

I want you to open this link on a laptop or desktop and do everything in column F, under Emotional Recovery:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XQsxjlndPMGNjGi39ER5y-GAK9N4_nY0geEBHPPg34Q/edit?gid=1334670450#gid=1334670450

What you’re going through will immediately start to feel better once you understand this. Like I said, 90% of this pain is unnecessary.

If you’re going through it, log in here:
https://members.coachbenbaker.com/ex-back-master-plan-user-manual

And stay with the items in column F on the calendar I sent you.

This doesn’t have to be this difficult, man.