The Mechanism Of Narcissism - Deflection, Blame-shifting **DARVO**: Deny, Attack, And Reverse Victim/Offender Roles

John and Sarah go out dancing and stay about two meters apart. 

Sarah vanishes for 15 minutes.

Comes back as if everything is ok.

After the dance, at dinner she reveals she danced closely with another guy and he was rude because he came to close to her and invaded her space.

When John reacts with anger, Sarah immediately attacks his tone and volume, calling him loud and rude and why he didn't dance closer to her. She felt neglected so she went for fresh air and ended up dancing with someone else.

Deflection happens when someone uses a distraction to change the subject. 

Instead of admitting they made a mistake or caused hurt, they turn the blame onto the other person's reaction. 

This makes the person who was harmed explain their behavior rather than confronting the original issue.

Here are ten examples of this behavior: 

1. A partner forgets an important anniversary. When confronted, they accuse the other person of always starting fights over minor things instead of apologizing.

2. Someone breaks a house rule. When called out, they immediately bring up a past mistake the other person made to minimize their current behavior.

3. If someone is caught lying, they might claim the other person didn't deserve to know the truth anyway, shifting the focus to the other person's trustworthiness.

4. A person is late for a meeting and blames their coworker for not sending a reminder email, rather than taking responsibility for their own time management.

5. When asked to help with chores, someone deflects by criticizing how the other person loads the dishwasher, making the argument about cleaning standards instead of their lack of help.

6. A manager gives negative feedback

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